OT: Girl Scout Cookies Devolve Again

I am one of those people who should be running and screaming in the other direction whenever Girl Scout Cookies go on sale. Nonetheless, I grew up on the peanut butter and oatmeal, chocolate chip, and thin mint cookies. Even the shortbread and lemon creme cookies get honorable mention in my book.

There was a time in the 1980s when I would go buy $75-100 worth of Girl Scout Cookies every year. Sometimes I bought two batches. I was generous with my Do-Si-Dos and Thin Mints because as people at them it meant I could focus on the chocolate chip cookies.

Then one year I bought a truckload of chocolate chip cookies and learned much to my distress that GSA had changed bakeries. The chocolate chip cookies were no better than store-bought cookies. Gone were the delightful moments of transcending into a euphoric OtherVerse of endorphinal plasm spawned by dipping the world’s best chocolate chip cookies in milk (I’m a dipper – so sue me).

I gradually recovered from the shock and over the course of about three, maybe four years adopted the peanut butter cremes as my new favorite cookie. I never ate less than half a box at a sitting.

My family might have wondered if I had gone insane or something, but they knew me already. My brother and sister fondly recalled how I almost always managed to be the first one to the kitchen whenever our mother yelled out, “Anyone want some cookies?” Only fresh-baked, home-made cookies were better than Girl Scout Cookies.

Through the years I have sighed wistfully and dropped into fond memory of those early chocolate chip dream-cookies. Did they really exist? Were they really that much better than today’s GSA chocolate chip cookies?

Oh, ABSOLUTELY. I still have the extra pant-size to prove it.

So I couldn’t help but feel a little saddened when I learned that the Girl Scouts will sell fewer cookies per box starting this year.

On the one hand, perhaps I should rejoice. Maybe I’ll finally lose that 20 pounds I’ve been promising to take off because I’ll have fewer cookies to eat.

Or maybe, just maybe, because the economy is so weak, I’ll dig a little deeper into my pockets and help the sweet children raise their funds for their activities. Maybe I should buy an extra box, maybe two, just to be sure I get my annual quota of peanut butter creme splashtation.

I could put off losing those extra pounds just a few months more if I take one for the team. Then again, carrying all those boxes home will mean I get some exercise.

Either way, I’m starting to smell Girl Scout Cookies in the air. Mmmm. Must mean Spring is almost here.


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